Why are you here?

As if yesterday's comment wasn't enough...

Krissy has left a new comment on your post "In the eyes of a child...Mya, that is...":

I hope you are not taking all of this out on Vinny. He is grieving too and you need to be sensitive to his feelings as well as your own. Lean on him, don't attack!

Posted by Krissy to EVA = life; living one... JANETTE = God is Gracious... at April 22, 2008 12:33 PM


Of all days anonymous found it necessary today...


Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Are you kidding me?":

and what is wrong with telling her to consider that her husband has feelings too? she is not the only one suffering this loss! Get over it.

Posted by Anonymous to EVA = life; living one... JANETTE = God is Gracious... at April 23, 2008 12:16 PM

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Are you kidding me?":

I too agree, you act as if YOU are the ONLY one hurting, my gosh open up and see that your whole family is hurting, just because YOU carried her doesn't mean it hurts you more then him. I don't see anything WRONG with what she posted, jeeze girl GET OVER YOURSELF.

Posted by Anonymous to EVA = life; living one... JANETTE = God is Gracious... at April 23, 2008 7:52 PM

My question to everyone who visits this page is...why are you here?

This is a public journal of my life, my daughters life and my journey to meet her and thereafter. No where in the last sentence does it say anything about you. Meaning that I don't need to hear from you. I don't need your feedback.

The comments that are warm, comforting and uplifting have been and are more than welcome but those that come from the devil are not. A person of God would not say such things, to anyone. Especially to someone going through such heartache as I am.

Romans 16:20
The Message
20 Don't be gullible in regard to smooth-talking evil. Stay alert like this, and before you know it the God of peace will come down on Satan with both feet, stomping him into the dirt. Enjoy the best of Jesus!

This is MY blog. Not Vinnie's. Therefore, I share MY thoughts and MY feelings. I know how Vinnie feels. I should know him a little more than anyone of you reading this, shouldn't I?

I have never said anything about not being sensitive to his feelings. Nor have I said anything about me not leaning on him. Actually, we've been leaning on each other this entire time, but I don't have to justify any of that to anyone out there. Where did it come across that I was attacking him or anyone else in any way?

In the post prior to the first comment I simply asked for prayer. Prayer for God to continue carrying us through and to be sure that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. Where did that say that there was a problem? I said it was a difficult night. That could have meant many of things.

Why would anyone assume that I am taking anything out on Vinnie? Why would anyone assume that I have the energy to attack these days? Better yet, why would anyone assume that I even would...ever...attack him or anyone else?

When people comment like this it makes me think that this person knows me...knows us...to think they have such right to say anything of the sort. But then I have to think that someone that knows me, knows us...wouldn't be such a coward and would let themselves be known. Not to mention how you'd think that those who "know" would know how to spell our names...(Vinnie)!

No one knows the situation that I was asking for prayer for (that's why it was mentioned as unforeseen). Again, those out there could only assume that there was an issue between us...it could have been and might still be something that we are both going thru together...not against each other.

I never said that I was the only one hurting (if I did please show me where) but this is a blog about ME and MY feelings. Not really about anyone elses. I know my family's pain - believe you me. I know their feelings. I see my family every day...do you?

Those who have walked this path know...that as a MOTHER we grieve so differently than the fathers. Yes, we carried these children...therefore we have a different, stronger bond between them than the father ever will especially because these babies were here for such a short time and chances are WE as their MOTHER's spent more time w/ them than anyone else. The hurt may be similar but I can honestly say, and Vinnie agrees, that it is not the same. And as a MOTHER - of 3 - I do hurt more over losing Eva than anyone else ever has and ever will and that is completely normal and how it should be, ask around...

I could adjust my blog to weed out all of the crude comments by not allowing anonymous to put in their two cents but I shouldn't have to change my ways for someone on the outside.

Ephesians 4:29
Amplified Bible
29 Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it.

But what I can do is forgive you and PRAY. Pray for the individuals that do not know God as their Personal Saviour. Pray for those who are troubled and struggling...maybe even more than I am right now. Maybe they are here for a reason. Maybe they were brought here by God so that He can be seen through me.

Vinnie re-read this before I posted it. He didn't want me to even bother responding at first but now has given me a high five and said how proud he is of me and held me in his arms w/ an incredible hug. He said that if this was happening 8 years ago when I was pregnant w/ Mya that I would have never approached this situation (anonymous comments) like I have today. And my "big sis" Dawn, had commented the last time this happened w/ the comment regarding my Mom...saying the same thing. Years ago when my relationship w/ God was much less than what it is now...I would not have been sitting here as I am now. I likely would have let the devil get the best of me and attacked the attacker. Nope, not now. I will attack in a different way. A better way. The way that God would want me to...

So from now on, I will be praying for you, anonymous commenter(s)...

AND this will be the last time I acknowledge the coward...

Father, Your Word says unforgiveness will stop my prayers from being answered and give the enemy a place in my life. Your Word also says that if I do not forgive others, neither will You forgive me for the wrong things I have said and done. Right now, in the name of Jesus, I forgive those who have hurt me, cursed me, used me, condemned me or come against me in any way. I forgive them and set my will to forget those things. I ask that You, in Your mercy and compassion, forgive them as well. I thank You, Father, for Your forgiveness and Your mercy, and I praise Your glorious Name.

I have on the Armor of God. I am fully dressed in His protection and stand complete in Him expecting victory over every attack from the devil. As I put His word before Him w/ prayer and thanksgiving, His Words have opportunity to work and perform as He promised!

Psalm 91
The Message
1-13
You who sit down in the High God's presence,
spend the night in Shaddai's shadow,
Say this: "God, you're my refuge.
I trust in you and I'm safe!"
That's right—he rescues you from hidden traps,
shields you from deadly hazards.
His huge outstretched arms protect you— </EM>
under them you're perfectly safe;
his arms fend off all harm.
Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night,
not flying arrows in the day,
Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
ot disaster that erupts at high noon.
Even though others succumb all around,
drop like flies right and left,
no harm will even graze you.
You'll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance,
watch the wicked turn into corpses.
Yes, because God's your refuge,
the High God your very own home,
Evil can't get close to you,
arm can't get through the door.
He ordered his angels
to guard you wherever you go.
If you stumble, they'll catch you;
their job is to keep you from falling.
You'll walk unharmed among lions and snakes,
and kick young lions and serpents from the path.
14-16
If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God,
"I'll get you out of any trouble.
'll give you the best of care
if you'll only get to know and trust me.
Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times;
I'll rescue you, then throw you a party.
I'll give you a long life,
give you a long drink of salvation!"

***More to come on how we celebrated Eva's first month in Heaven***