Keller, TX ~ August 7th, 2010

Keller, TX ~ August 7th, 2010
The "eight of us" together w/ our NEW babies after our losses...

Living Proof ~ June 13th, 2009 ~ Pittsburgh, PA ~ Beth Moore

Deeper Still ~ June 28th, 2008

Deeper Still ~ June 28th, 2008
The "eight of us" w/ Beth Moore (w/ empty arms)...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Another family is in need of prayer...

Gabe would have been 5 weeks younger than Eva...

Jonah is 5 hours and 55 minutes younger than Dante...

I have been led to pray for this family...

Please join me...

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Dante's Newborn Hospital Picture...

(I'll post the better one once our order arrives)

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Baby Pictures...revisited!

Me 1979

Dominic 1996

Mya 2000

Eva 2008

Dante 2009

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Please pray for this family...

I could not imagine...

One loss was overwhelming for me...

My heart is broken for them...

Please Lord comfort them at this time...

Sunday, March 8, 2009

I am home...

Feels so good to be home...

Enjoying this time w/ my boy...

More to come...

(Dominic and Mya are on sleepovers w/ family - thier choice - or I'd be enjoying this time w/them as well)

Saturday, March 7, 2009


Why is this happening?

I can't take it any more.

I just want to go home.

My nerves are shot.

My patience are exhausted.

And I can't say that I feel a whole lot better than I did when I came back to this place.

What is the point?

My family needs me...yes, I get that.

They need me now.

They need me forever.

But no one is guaranteed tomorrow.

Only God knows the days of my life.

Is there a guarantee that these medicines are going to keep me alive?

Is there still a chance that this clot could kill me?

No one here, in the flesh, can answer these questions...

I just want to go home...


NOW for that matter...

Tastefully Simple...AGAIN

It's that time again...

Some of you know and others do not but I sell Tastefully Simple. I have been only selling the minimum per quarter just to remain a consultant because I like having the discount for myself and I hope and plan to get back up and running...someday.

We are approaching the end of the quarter, being March 31th, and I am again in a bit or a crunch. I need a few hundred dollars more in sales (approx $3oo) to make my goal or else...I'll be done selling and no longer a consultant. I am once again offering promotional discounts, which I cannot post here (too big of a discount to post here...I promise). So if you like TS products, need a refill or are looking to purchase gifts, please email me! (put TS or Tastefully Simple in the subject line)

Orders can be shipped anywhere! And I can accept credit card/debit card payments!

Never, ever, there any obligation. I just want to extend the offer and get the info out there.

The fall and winter items are likely limited being that the season changed from fall/winter to spring/summer after February 28th. If you want to stock up on something that was to be leaving w/the me the product and I will get back to you.

Thanks to all that have helped in the past and those of you in the future.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Would you believe...

Believe it or not I am back in the hospital.

Yesterday around dinner time I laid down to feed Dante. I nursed and we both fell sleep. I woke up around 8:30 PM in a puddle of sweat and had the chills. As I began to move around and attempt to sit up is when I realized I could not breath. I was gasping for air and began to cry, as that is something I've never experienced before. The heavy pain in my chest was not a good feeling. I called my PCP's office and waited the for doc on call to call me back. He said that I could wait till morning to be seen but it sounded like I should go to the ER. I had been coughing since Friday night (several hours after surgery) and even Dante's pediatrician (during his appointment yesterday- FYI he weighed 8 lbs 1 oz) noticed my cough and wheeze and recommended being seen if it didn't improve.

Vinnie, Dante and I headed to the ER after taking Mya and Dominic to Dominic's dads house since we were unsure of the length of our stay. Little did I know that my stay would be much greater than I had anticipated.

Long story short (okay not so short)...I had blood work done where a level came back high meaning likely a blood clot. I was then sent for a CT scan w/contrast of the chest which meant I could not nurse for 48 hours. Imagine the tears shed w/ that alone. Results of CT revealed a blood clot in my right lung as well as some fluid. This results in admission...w/out my 5 day old son.

Needless to say I was crushed. Devastated and a mess. How can this be happening. After last year w/ Eva I was now given no choice but to be away from my 5 day old baby for who knows how long.

I've had, in addition to the CT, an EKG, doppler testing on my legs, breathing treatments and an echo cardiogram. I have been put on two blood thinners Lovenox and Coumadin in which will likely be the treatment for the next several months. I guess the thoughts are that I likely developed a clot in my pelvis during/due to the pregnancy and after surgery clots are more likely to occur and reveal themselves.

Either way I was quite miserable. I am doing better now after spending several hours w/ my boy today. And knowing that he has had no problem w/ taking the bottle and the formula helps to ease some of my stress. Next stress will be that he comes right back to nursing at 2 AM Saturday (yes, I'm counting down). I am currently pumping and you know how bad that sucks? Breast milk is like liquid gold. I hate to see it all wasted! But because of the dye used for the CT scan I have no choice. I hope to be home soon but if I'm not I can at least start collecting my milk at 2 AM Saturday for his feedings thereafter.

Please continue praying for us. For a fast recovery, medication adjustment, no long term complications w/ the clot, discharged soon, Dante to continue doing well for Daddy (it's been 9 yrs since we've had a healthy baby at home - and Vinnie wasn't on his own w/ Mya as a newborn like he is now w/ Dante), Dominic and Mya to remain fear free as this is hard on them as well, it's likely I'll need to inject myself at home w/ the Lovenox - prayers that I can do such, my appetite has gone out the window...I need that to come back and our hearts as Eva's birthday quickly approaches.

Ironic? Coincidence? Eva lived for 5 days, 18 hours and 10 minutes. Because I analyze everything I calculated that Dante would be 5 days, 18 hours and 10 minutes old at 4:05 AM last night. Call me crazy, weird or whatever but is it strange that I said goodbye to both my baby girl and my baby boy at that very same moment of there lives? Obviously w/ Dante it was more like "see you tomorrow" than a goodbye but it was EXACTLY 4:05 AM when Vinnie and Dante left me last night as I was being admitted and brought up to a room? Dante will be a week old tomorrow and I have been away from him much too long already. I MISS HIM. I miss them all. Dominic, Mya, Eva and Dante. Oh and Vinnie too!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

A quick update...

We are home and doing well. Or as well as expected. I am sore, but who wouldn't be w/ 18 staples going across your lower abdomen. I have a dry raspy cough that doesn't go well w/ the above mentioned staples and a low dull back pain likely from the spinal. Please do not think at all that I am complaining. I know that these, besides the cough, are normal for going through a c-section. I don't seem to remember ANY of this from last year. Likely because I had a baby girl getting ready to leave this earth and had nothing but her on my mind. I was running, I kid you not, back and forth to the NICU and a week to the day she was born I was driving to buy Dominic cloths for his sisters funeral and to Walgreen's to pick up pictures to make a board of memories of those short but meaningful 5 1/2 days.

His name is Dante Vincent. We should have never questioned it because Dante Vincent had been set for the past 10 years but we thought we'd consider all options. He doesn't exactly look like a Dante to me but more like a Santino...but calling him Santino to his face just didn't sound right.

He is precious. And tiny. I know 8 lbs 8 oz sounds big but he had leveled off at 7 lbs 13 oz by the time we left the hospital yesterday. He hit 8 lbs 2 oz Friday at midnight and 7 lbs 13 oz Saturday and Sunday at midnight. Tomorrow is his first appointment for a weight check since I am nursing so we will see where he stands. I also will be having the 18 staples removed tomorrow. Yikes! I remember that it wasn't too bad last year but again, nothing was that bad besides my daughters condition, so I pray tomorrow is a breeze.

I thank God every minute of every day for this healthy baby boy. He is the love of my life these days and I am ever so grateful to have him in my arms. But my heart aches for my baby girl that had to leave me so soon almost a year ago.

I found myself in the wee hours of the night rocking Dante and just crying out to God to please let him stay. Please don't don't take him away too soon. Please allow us to keep him forever.

Who does that?

One who has said goodbye entirely too soon? One who knows that tomorrow is no guarantee? One who wants nothing more that to raise her children her on earth and for those children to outlive her.

Eva's first birthday is two weeks away. Dominic, Mya, Vinnie and I have started to discuss what to do. I know we will come up w/ something fit for us and perfect the whole way around. It's just hard to fathom the fact that we should have an 11 1/2 month old here in our home too.

More pictures to come...

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, for playing the baby game and voting on his name. We cherish you all and are glad that you have continued to carry us through some of the most trying and blessed times of our lives.