Keller, TX ~ August 7th, 2010

Keller, TX ~ August 7th, 2010
The "eight of us" together w/ our NEW babies after our losses...

Living Proof ~ June 13th, 2009 ~ Pittsburgh, PA ~ Beth Moore

Deeper Still ~ June 28th, 2008

Deeper Still ~ June 28th, 2008
The "eight of us" w/ Beth Moore (w/ empty arms)...

Monday, March 31, 2008

My great aunt wrote this for me...

In Memory of your Angel

Eva Janette, your gift from God, so tiny dear and pure.
Came to your arms such a little while, her loss you now endure.

She touched so many near and far, with something so unique.
Her fragile strength, her presence here, that precious warmth so sweet.

Your Angel is with Jesus now, so speak to her each day.
She'll save a place for all of you, and if she could, she'd say...

"You gave me love and so much care, I know you own.
I'll be here when you come to me, to this, my Heavenly home.

So stay close by and sing God's praise, His gifts are always best.
He knows you as His faithful ones, how well you passed the test!

Weeping may be here for now, but joy comes with the dawn.
Be still and know that I am loved, may joy be in each song."

From her Great Grand Aunt Bunny

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Her cry that I will forever miss...

Where has the week gone?

I sit here tonight amazed at how fast the past week has gone by. Sitting here knowing what I should be doing or would be doing or could be doing if my 12 day old daughter were still here on this Earth.

I'm sad that she never made it home, to our physical home. I'm sad that she never got to ride in the van, in her car seat. I am sad that I didn't get to dress her in the many outfits that awaited her arrival in a bin freshly laundered in Dreft. I am sad that I never got to see her and Mya in their matching Easter dresses, handmade just to fit her tiny body. I am sad as I walk thru the store and see the diapers, wipes and baby food that I won't be needing to purchase.

But I am happy that I DID get to...hear her cry or squeak I should say...see her wide open eyes looking around, watch her fight to be here for as long as she could, see her wean from a vent to a cannula to high pressure oxygen and live 2 days longer when her doctor said it would be a few hours, change 3 wet diapers, see a poopy diaper, see her get my breast milk thru a feeding tube and then frantically search for a breast (but dad was holding her so she wasn't getting what she was looking for)...suck on a pacifier and get angry cause there was nothing coming out, watch her get a bath, see her in a few outfits w/ matching hats and socks that looked like knee highs...rub her full head of hair (she hated this), kiss her forehead, her nose and her lips...see the tiny dimple on her left cheek that resembles daddy's...see Vinnie, Dominic and Mya hold her and love on her...hold her bare body against my chest until she left me on Easter Sunday morning...

I prayed that she would make it home for Easter and she just wasn't my home but that of her Heavenly Father. Therefore, my prayer WAS answered.

So as I sit here tonight w/ empty arms and long to hold my baby Eva heart is full of memories. Memories that I will have and hold and cherish forever. I lay at night just looking at her pictures thinking about all that I did for her and the chance that I gave her at the life that she had. Even though it was short it was meaningful and I would do it all over again if I were chosen by God to walk this very path again.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Drawing by our friends 14 yr old daughter...given to me the night before Eva was born.

Pics the NICU took of us for us...dates are on the pics.

Eva's first balloon...released Tuesday, March 25th, 2008 as we left for first viewing...(Thanks Emily (Miller Grace) for the idea)

Last two pics before leaving the hospital...

Minutes before she left me...
Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 @ 2:49:53 AM

All packed up to head for home...only thing missing was our baby girl in her car seat...would have traded all this and then some to have her leaving there w/ us.
Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 @ 4:42:38 AM

Day 6 @ AGH - Sixth day of life but technically not complete...

From breast milk to bath time to bundled w/ daddy...then bonding time w/ siblings.
Indeed made for a complete last day here on Earth...

Baby Pictures...

Me 1979

Dom 1996

Mya 2000

Eva 2008

We all have the full head of hair, similar lips and squinty eyes...and clenched fists!

Post Gazette Guest Book

I know that I have so many wonderful encouraging comments on this blog (and I thank you all) in which I will cherish forever. I someday plan to print and save them. But the blog will be around forever, the Post Gazette Guest Book will not. I can order the guest book to keep as another keepsake. So I ask that if you have been following us and were not able to comment here, please feel free to sign Eva's guestbook. And on the other hand...if you have been commenting here, even if everyday and would like to sign the guest book do please do so.

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