Rain...Rain...Go Away!

It has been raining for days. I don't care for rain. I'd rather it snow...and I don't like snow either. But at least w/ snow you can walk in and out of places w/out getting drenched or even really wet for that matter.

The rain seems to damper my day...as well as my mood. Even if we get a little bit of sunshine it still manages to rain somewhere throughout the day. The cemetery is a swamp. That's the only thing I don't like about where Eva was laid to rest. It is grossly muddy and soggy. The ground has settled a little too much where her tiny casket went into the ground and it tends to obtain a nice puddle.

Friday I stopped by the cemetery, as I still do on a daily basis. I squatted down to talk to her and asked her to send us some sunshine. I told her to get in kahoots (is that even a word or the way to spell it) w/ God and send us some sun! Vinnie was home from work earlier and I was running errands before the kids got off their buses. Dominic has been squinting a little too much lately so I thought it'd be best for an eye exam since his last one was in 2006. I was able to get him an appt at 5:30 and we were planning to go to Olive Garden for dinner at 6:30 so it worked out pretty nice. As we exited the mall after the eye exam to head to dinner...would you believe it...the rain had subsided and we had the most gorgeous sunshine for what seemed like a few hours! I knew she could hear me. I knew They could here me. What a difference a little bit of sun can do to ones mood! Dinner was great (thanks Aunt Donna for the birthday gift card)!

I guess I haven't posted in a while. Just backing up a few days...I celebrated my first birthday and mothers day as a mother of 3...all in one week. My birthday was no big deal, as it never is, nor has it been since I had kids of my own. We would normally do dinner or something, which we did...but this year we ate pasta dinner at Mya's school. Yum! (can you sense the sarcasm)? Mother's day was fine (as I posted that afternoon) but I did go to the cemetery that evening then to a family/friends house to watch the Penguin game. I let my emotions get the best of me as I sat next to one of my very bestest friends (whose birthday was that day) and sensed that she was miserable (it was one of those numbers that I guess as a woman we don't like too much). I asked if she was miserable, she said yes. I said well I'm right there w/ you. She said well at least you aint *0...(that number she doesn't like) and I said I'd rather be *0 and have all my children here than to be 29 w/out Eva. SO of course I cried.

I think I should be crying more. I don't think I should be doing this well. All in all I think being off work helps tremendously. I am sure that once I go back and get back into the swing of things I will be fine...but the thought of doing ANYTHING that I did when I was pregnant...is heart wrenching! I mean even down to watching certain TV shows and watching particular movies. I had to cancel my Netflix membership because I had two movies that sat on my computer desk from three days before Eva was born until last week. I couldn't bring myself to watch them. Seems silly, even to me, but you just don't know what it feels like to do things...like go places where I last went while pregnant. Work is one of those places. I have only been back once since Eva was born and gone...and that was for a co-workers shower. I was there for less than two hours and that was enough for me. Taking the bus too. I just don't wanna do it. Please pray for me as I am to return back to work within the next couple of weeks.

Another prayer request...I am attempting to plan a mini trip the end of June. And leaving Vinnie, Dominic and Mya behind (I'll posted details later so you'll understand why they would not be coming along). I am still praying about this. Praying that everything works out as it is supposed to and that all the details, big and small, fall into place. Praying that I am physically, mentally, emotionally and financially able to do this...as my heart desires it oh so much.

I thank those who continue to follow and pray for me...and for us. I guess the less I post the less I hear from my fellow bloggers, but who am I to say anything cause I read many and comment few and far between.

I know I still have some catching up to do but being so far behind I forget a lot of what I had wanted to say.

Please pray for the family of Zoe Elizabeth Batiansila as it seems she is getting tired these days.

And please continue to pray for Jacob Ryan Fahmer as he seems to be feeling a little better but not completely outta the woods.